I woke up this morning, and I rolled over allowing my mind to yawn and stretch. I got up and plodded down the hall towards the kitchen to retrieve my morning companion. Coffee. First things first. However, by the time I had completed the very short walk to the kitchen and opened the refrigerator to reach for the creamer, I was already thinking about my sister and anger was welling up inside of me.
Yesterday, she had posted something I found horrific on Facebook. It was in light of the current political win/loss on abortion.
I seethed, going over scenarios in my mind. Thinking about arguments I could win, backing myself up on the comment I had posted (even though my personal rule is to never get involved in the back and forth rhetoric), even going as far as to imagine arguing my point to my other sister or parents about how I was right. I had to stop. So, I paused for a minute and prayed.
Lord, why? Why does this make me so angry? I know the Truth. I rest easy in it. Yes, I am saddened. Especially by my sister who refuses to acknowledge it, but where is this boiling anger coming from? I began to think to myself, “Well,look at what they wrote. Their banter and proud words stating that they have, and can murder their babies Lord. I mean, it is right to feel this disgust. They are ignorant, and immature. It is their fault that they refuse to grow in wisdom and knowledge so they will finally turn from their selves and acknowledge you. Right?”
Then I heard it. I felt the gentle caress of the Holy Spirit stirring in my soul, and impressing a verse on my heart:
“Salvation is not a reward for the good things we have done, so none of us can boast about it.” Ephesians 2:9
And those words took me back. Back to before I knew the Lord. Before I had been given the Holy Spirit to dwell inside of me. Back to before I was a new creation in Christ, and at that time even I was pro-choice. I would never have thought about having an abortion, but I certainly wasn’t going to get caught up in other peoples choices. Back in a time when I was very liberal about most everything, and many of my thoughts and ideas did not line up with the Word of God.
I realized that it was of no credit to myself that any of those things in me had changed. I did ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to deserve God’s grace. It surely had nothing to do with the fact that I was indeed ignorant, proud, and boastful. It was for no other reason than I was loved. He loved me and allowed me to finally see. He softened my mind and my heart.
I thought back to my sister’s Facebook post, the small squares that represented the images of each of her friends; who like minded, rejoiced in their right to kill. Then it hit me. I was angry all right. But not with them. I was angry with the enemy. And the best way for me to glorify God and the biggest gift I could offer to my sister and her friends, wasn’t condemnation. It was prayer. They didn’t need to hear what I think. I am nothing. They need to KNOW what God thinks. So I will be praying. For all of them. And I’m not going to lie, but I feel a little snarky at my dig to Satan. The last thing he wanted or imagined, would be that someone would be willing to pray for any of those people. Well, he guessed wrong. God is SO much bigger.
I will continue to worship and praise our awesome God, who even though I don’t deserve it, continues to offer me peace and mercy. And I will pray.
Thank you Jesus!
“God saved you by His grace when you believed, and you can’t take credit for this; it is a gift from God.” Ephesians 2:8 NLT
“But I say, love your enemies! Pray for those who persecute you!” Matthew 5:44 NLT